Thursday, October 24, 2013

Lincoln Park After Dark

I know it has been a long time.  
And I miss posting.  
So instead of focusing on my life...lets focus on amazing things such as my nails! 

The OPI color "Lincoln Park After Dark"...has me swooninggggggg...swooning.  I am not the type of girl who paints her fingernails...due to the color never ever lasting more than a few days.  It is normally such a waste of money and time due to the fact that I wash dishes, faces, bums, you name it, this girl can never keep nail polish on for very long!  But I do paint my toes...

I got a pedicure and a manicure this past week and decided to get a season color...and go dark...I wanted a dark blue or red....but landed on this beauty "Lincoln Park After Dark...where Midnight meets Purple"! Dark purplish brown...and gorgeous!! !:)

(Please do not judge the hand placement....gross)


Anddddddd FOUR...FIVE...SIX days later.... My nails still look amazing.  It is not because of the top coat...well, it could be..or maybe because I love the color...but I am so so happy.  I am still so happy. 



This color can be bought at your local ULTA store!!!
And not only can you shop there for amazing items SUCH as OPI Nailpolish, facial cleansers, perfume, etc.


* All opinions expressed in this post are honestly and truly mine.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Constantly


1con·stant

 adjective \ˈkän(t)-stənt\



1 : marked by firm steadfast resolution or faithfulness :
exhibiting constancy of mind or attachment constant friend.


3 : continually occurring or recurring : regular constant annoyance.




I am now able to see how unstable, unbalanced and unsteady my life actually is.

I have been fooled, like most girls, most women, into thinking that there is such a thing as "Happily Ever After". Fooled into thinking that things should not be as hard as they are. That things should come easy.

I have started to look at this current trend and have become sick with worry and guilt that I may be putting this on my daughter as well.

Today, I blame myself for things that have happened in my life. Not someone else. I blame me, but I also rejoice that I am me. That things have happened for a reason. That they will happen. An that no matter how hard I wish and try for them to stay constant, they won't be able to.

I am a very passive aggressive person.  I will not come right out and tell you why I am upset.  I expect you to, but I will not.  I argue a lot. And not just argue. But if I really have a passion or a strong view on something I convince you to think the same (which is why I was told to go to Law School to begin with). I haven't been doing this lately. I have been giving up. When things get tough, or I just want to push buttons I will, but won't come up with the answer to why I am doing such a thing or try to convince them otherwise. I have started to feel insecure of my decisions and my reasoning, and that is not me.

What happened to my steady, constant, happiness, confidence and the drive I used to have?

How did I let things get like this?

How did I let others to make me feel like this.  To constantly put me down so I believed them.  To feel bad about being excluded from the group.  

I am not letting this happen anymore.  I am sticking up for me.  I am good enough and people like me for me.  I don't have to pretend.  I don't have to be settled for.  I can go back to that girl who was always smiling and happy.  Who had something great to look forward to every single day.  I will make this a huge priority in my life.

Monday, May 20, 2013

WEDDING from HELL

Super Long Post...sorry, but it is a vent about the current Wedding Hell I am dealing with!  :)


So, I have been in my fair share of weddings.  One of my girlfriends was kidding around recently and told me that I am the "token pretty friend".   I know that sounds conceited...but really, I have been in at least 3 weddings a year for the past six years.

I agreed to be in my friend Meaghan's wedding a few months ago.  Knowing that the wedding was Memorial Day weekend, and knowing our past history, I agreed, I was hesitant, but I agreed.  I was once very close to this girl, inseparable in 2007.  But after her divorce, and after my busy life, life got the best of us and we kept in touch, but were no longer close. 

Fast forward to now.  I have gone dress shopping, paid for the dress, planned the shower with two other girls (one being her sister M and one her fiances best friends wife L), had the shower, gone to the bachelorette party and now am waiting ever so patiently for the end of the road where I can go to the rehearsal dinner and then boom...the wedding.

Meaghan is one of those people who I will always care for.  We have history.  I do love her silliness and how she is a great mother.....But, recently she hasn't been the nicest person to me.  Maybe it's wedding jitters, and as a bridesmaid you take those things out on your friends...but she has embarrassed me in front of groups of people lately.   

At the shower Meaghan let me know that I was too pretty...don't know what that meant...but ok. People were staring at me...and I didn't know how to respond.  I laughed it off and kept serving punch.  It was not in the "hey you are pretty and my friend, yeay" kind of way...it was mean "You are TOO pretty"...so you want me to ugly it down?  Ok.  Duly Noted.  (and she just did it again on a fb photo of the two of us...so strange...stop commenting meanly about how I am pretty...just stop...now it's getting awkward.  I know you think I am pretty, I promise you will be the spotlight at your wedding)

And again, back to her shower I met a great girl, we became facebook friends and she recently commented on my wall. MY wall.  Not me on hers, she posted on MINE.  Meaghan commented under the post and told me to stop stalking her friends.  Now, really?  I didn't initiate anything.  I don't care if she likes me or not.  But COME'ON (insert Gob voice here...all you arrested development fans already know what I am referring to..the rest of you probably think I am just crazy...yes, yes I am)!!!!!!!!!  Don't you want your friends to like your other friends? Yes?  And honestly, doesn't that mean that you did a great job at picking out these so called friends because other people think that they are awesome too?  Maybe she was jealous that people actually like me, because most people do!  She made sure to let me know in front of her group of girls at the Bachelorette party that my "new" best friend  was not going to be there.  News Flash Meg...I have a group of best friends, one lives in MD and the other two I have known since HS...don't have any room for that title...but thanks!

There are also issues I have with L, the other bridesmaid.  There is no hierarchy in this wedding.  But if I had to pick, Meaghan's sister would be the MOH.  L is full force crazy.  Must be in everything.  Must plan everything.  Must have it her way.  M (the sister), doesn't care because it is less for her to do....and I don't care because I am more invested in another wedding I have at the end of this summer...one that I actually want to be in and feel like the bride actually wants me there!  But she keeps making things a competition.  She is the "one upper"..."Stephanie did you make those meatballs by scratch", "No L I didn't have time", "Oh Stephanie, that is too bad, I usually get up at 4 and grind my own meat, and then take my own dried bread crumbs and combine them with secret spies"....yeah...one of those...

Ok, so back to L...she went and spent TONS of money for the shower that was not necessary.  She over spent, so I told her I would compensate her and pay for her at the Bach party...fast forward to Saturday night...I was at the very end of the table, and they told me what to pay.  I overheard L talking to another girl about the money situation and how "she was supposed to pay more" and so I loudly replied (because I can keep my cool for only so long): "Hey L, I know I owe you money FOR the shower, do you want me to pay now, or give you money when I see you next week"?  She turned red, the other girl she was talking shit to turned red...and said we could talk about it later.  I smiled. I have smiled, and grinned and beared this for the past few months now.  If I have to be fake any longer I MAY POP!  OH and also L at the beginning of the night made a comment to another girl that she didn't like me...and the other girl wanted to know if I knew...and L said "she must sense it"....so I kindly turned my head and did the biggest, cheesiest pageant smile I could muster so she would know I heard.  I was not a pageant girl for nothing!

I am ready to call it quits and just not even show up for the wedding.  I am done. Donzo. If I am in anyone else's wedding, and they pull these kinds of stunts, or say mean or rude things to me, I will let them know.  Just like I will let Meaghan know today that I am hurt and upset with her and her friends behaviors from this past weekend.


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

It's been a bit...

A lot of things have happened since I have last posted.

I have been working full time/all the time at my not so new job.  I love it.  I did not have to drive in the snow once this year to go to work! It really was one of the best things that has happened to me in a long time.  I am grateful to work for a caring company that not only cares about the people who work for them, but for the people that we work for.  Even if we are for profit, it is a huge change from what I am used to working with/for.   I have started my second Masters degree.  I am now going for Special Education Moderate to Severe disability as well!

A has been potty trained for a long time now.  Although we have the occasional "I was too busy to leave the park" or "I am having too much fun outside" accidents.....but we are doing great! :)  We still put her in a pull up at bed, and have only had one night where she was not completely dry.


I am in two weddings this year....with Meaghan's happening on Memorial Day and Heather's this coming September.  I am so happy that I get to be a part of their special days...and all the days leading to it!

I am also going to be an Aunt again.  Dave's sister after struggling with losses, etc.  She is due in June with a baby boy!  We just had the shower this past weekend and so many people said how nice it was.  My MIL really did a great job with everything...and was happy to have me...a bit of a frantic type A person to make sure everything went smoothly.

I have the other blog that I am also writing in as well, and much more frequently, so let me know if anyone still reads this and wants to read something/someplace that I post more! :)




Sunday, February 3, 2013

Wow...it's been a long time...

It has been a long long time since I have posted here on my blog with anything.  So lets do an update on what is going on with Me & A!

ME: 
  • I am done (as of next weekend) with my first Masters Degree, but starting up with my second Masters program ASAP.  I have decided to continue my education and get my second Masters in Special Education, moderate to severe disabilities.
  • I love my job.  I have been here for a while now, and I love it.  I am working a lot, but as soon as I get my team members trained and a schedule down I will be able to work from home (and see my child all the time...WOOHOO).
  • I am hanging out with more friends and doing much more "social" things...and loving LOVING how that is going.  
  • I am in two weddings this year!  Heather has her wedding in September and Meaghan has her wedding in May!  :)  I am so excited that these ladies want me to share in their special day!!!!!!  
  • I hit my goal weight of 135, so obviously I have a new one of 130...and would like to be 125 eventually!
A: 
  • Is amazing.  She is a little diva!  Loves to sing and dance..and put on shows if you let her!  Her favorite songs are anything by Taylor Swift....and she is still in love with "Call Me Maybe"...
  • She loves having fun with her friends and is always asking to see them on the weekends!
  • Her hair is super duper long again and needs to be cut...and she lets me know every single day what and how she wants her hair to look like...today for instance she said she wanted to wear a bow, and yesterday she wanted "two pigtails because they are super cute mom".
  • She needs to wear a "princess dress" every single day.  I have to beg her to wear a shirt of any kind, and when I do it is normally worn only because I promised her that she would wear a tutu.  Which, I have had to make in every single color to match said shirts.
  • Still have to paint her finger and toe nails if I want to cut them....so I am cutting them and painting them every Saturday.
  • She loves skiing! :)
  • A is not potty trained yet.  We have been working on it, and she tells us when she needs to go: "Momma I gotta go peeeeeeee", but she is still in the process.
So that is a quick update!  Things have been busy but good!  We are a bunch of silly girls always having dance parties daily pretending to be princesses!  Two is fun, but also a challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Friday, January 11, 2013

Miss it

I miss being young. Younger than 27. I miss 18-22. This was such a great time in my life. Ugh. And being skinny and blonde.

Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom. But I miss irresponsible nights out and texts/pictures you regret the next day.

Thursday, December 6, 2012